Make a grapple check!

Okay, I just completed my weekly catch-up with http://www.darthsanddroids.net/ and I couldn't help but be prompted by the notes-text in this issue: http://www.darthsanddroids.net/episodes/0233.html

Any GM in the world, ever, will recognise this sheer terror. For some reason grappling rules are horrendously complex (though, interestingly, they're not too bad in Rolemaster... but the complexity of that entire system means that they're ridiculously difficult, anyway).

As a GM, I actually wince whenever one of my players declares an action that will initiate the grappling rules. Out comes the relevant rulebook, and I follow the process, step-by-step.

Here's why, using the D&D 3.5E version of the grappling rules (which, bear in mind, are simplified):

1) Declare an action that will use the grappling rules.

2) Laugh at the GM as he effortlessly flips to the right page, cursing.

3) The target may make a free attack (the dreaded Attack of Opportunity) which, if successful, prevents the grapple attempt.

4) Snigger when the Attack of Opportunity misses.

5) Make a melee touch attack on the target to grab.

6) Crow victoriously as you effortlessly succeed at the easiest attack roll you have ever made.

7) Make an opposed grapple check, using a bonus that is never ever, ever used elsewhere in the game.

8) Grin at the GM because you made the grapple check and are now grappling.

9) Use any further itterative attacks your character may have to perform a series of bizzare and frustrating manoeuvres against an effectively helpless victim, preventing him from retaliating or performing any action other than attempting to free himself.

10) Repeat steps 7 through 9 until the victim breaks free or is knocked out.

Why? For the love of humanity, why does it have to be so complex? For a game that specifically states that the combat system is abstracted, why does the act of grabbing someone else on the battlefield have to be so damn confusing? For that matter, why are the rules utterly silent on the question "is he still grabbed if I fail that first grapple check?" How the hell should I know?! Even allowing for the seemingly unnecesary "Grapple Bonus", why could it not be "Declare action, Attack of Opportunity, Opposed Grapple Check"? That cuts at least 50% of the complexity from the rules.

It should be simple, like the rest of combat. The simpler it is, the more viable it becomes as an option in a fight. The more viable it is, the more likely it is to be used.

The only reason I can conceive of for the horrendous mish-mash of "action/counter-action/response/result" is to put people off trying. Well, it works. It makes me, as a GM, never want to initiate a grapple, even for those foes that get all sorts of bonuses when doing so.

The rules should be there to make it fun. Not to accurately portray the point and counterpoint of WWE-style wrestling contests. Not to confuse players and GMs alike into gibbering insensibility. Make it simple, clean, and abstract.

Sure, give grappling opponents some options they otherwise wouldn't, like throwing their foe around the battlefield, but by the sacred d20, make it simpler for them to actually have the option.